Lost and confused

                         Feeling scared and alone. Wondering why the words you say are so hard for me to swallow,when my feelings inside always seem so hollow.I fell in love without knowing your name.I thought at that time I wanted you to be mine.After four and a half years I feel like my heart has just been playing a foolish game. You really didn't do any harm, you were my smile, and I was your sweetheart. Now times have changed and I'm now feeling like a rusty charm.Not only our friendship, but our marriage has been torn apart.Usually when I write my feelings on paper it helps my mind and it makes sense in my head. Anymore when I write I feel like all I want to do is cry in my bed. The bed where we once laughed, and talked for hours and made the most amazing love. Now we sleep alone, cry alone, and walk around this house like we live alone. I wanted to see if we could ever get any of that back, but our relationship is so torn I don't think theres enough thread for it to even try to be sown.